True Love

How do we fall in love?

We first fall in love with ourselves. That is self-love.

We cannot fall in love if we are begging for illness or using sickness to get a little attention, begging for death, begging for poverty, begging for victimhood because it gives us relevance. We are not falling in love; we are only getting temporary relief. But that is not love, it is addiction.

We need to work on ourselves, and we need to love what we are, the way we loved as children. We need to love ourselves the way we would love a baby, a tiny, round, soft little one nursing at our breast or sheltered in our big arms.

We have to learn that the most beautiful people are simply a surplus product of a commercial ideal. The moment they get a single wrinkle on their face, they're out. That's it, they're no longer beautiful.

But that is not your story.

You wouldn't throw away your child for not meeting today's beauty standards. You wouldn't do that to your own flesh and blood.

Love is its own beauty.

Body parts don't create beauty. Soul and spirit create beauty. To give birth to a child who came from your loins, from your seed, from your egg, a living, breathing spirit embodied through you that came from you: that is the miracle of love.

Who would stop loving their children because they don't fit today's photogenic ideal, because they have big hips or a long face, or because they have no hair or too much of it?

And if you would, then shame on you and cursed are you, and you will be at the mercy of such things in your next lives.

That is a fact.

Do you know why?

Because what we resent and keep secret in this life builds the temple and the genetic blueprint of our next incarnation. That is how it works in the one field, or if you prefer it in scientific language, the quantum field.

So what do we do when we fall in love with ourselves?

We have worked on ourselves, let go of our secrets, found the source of our anger, rooted out our self-blame and told the truth. You cannot love someone while struggling with your own guilt.

Making someone else your savior is stupid.

You have to do it yourself. You have to clean the vessel. That means you have put all your attention on yourself, and you take your life apart and put it back together again. You are clean.

Change the way you live. Love is not what goes into your mouth. It has nothing to do with how much food, or what food, you can consume. It has nothing to do with how much sex you have. It has nothing to do with how cool you look. It has nothing to do with how much money you have.

All of that fades away and turns out to be meaningless.

The greatest love affair there has ever been is an eternal romance with the divine, which loves you into life and has the infinite patience to let you stay alive. It is you who wasted it on pizza, cigarettes and beer, wasted it on all your silly addictions, which you pay rent to with a thousand excuses.

And look, wow, your heart is still beating. Amazing.

It's truly amazing that your heart is still beating despite all the years of your nonsense and self-destruction. Something loves you into life even when you hate yourself with all your might.

So when we have healed ourselves, we know that the only reason we get sick is our lousy attitude, and we change it. We start taking an active part in our lives instead of being faded copies living on autopilot. We begin to forgive ourselves by telling the truth, and we truly forgive and stop looking back.

And then we have no secrets.

We no longer have skeletons in the closet or parasites on our backs. And yes, telling the truth can cost us a relationship, money in the bank, a car and a garden. It has consequences, but they are nothing compared with the quantum prison we lock ourselves in through relationships built on concealment and pretense, all while thinking we are so clever. Thoughts are not private, though, and the soul records everything, documenting every detail.

And maybe one day you'll say, “Good God, why didn't I understand this back then?” Well, because you didn't want to understand that you are just an ongoing drama machine, changing more costumes than in a Shakespeare play. You burn through bodies, but the mind goes on, and meanwhile all we seek in this life is the perfect marriage, to be set for life from cradle to grave, instead of finally finding ourselves.

The mind never dies, ever. Flesh and blood will pass in the blink of an eye, but the kingdom of heaven will never pass away. The mind never disappears.

And what is the mind anyway? Just another modern word for your holy spirit.

Do opposites attract?

Absolutely. Chemistry and hormones work magic on flesh and blood, and for mating purposes that is essential. Well, otherwise where would we get more and more bodies to burn through?

Physically, then, we are drawn to each other to reproduce and survive, even subconsciously. Or there is a market for what we have to offer. Or it is simply convenient to have someone else control and manage our lives so we don't have to.

But in the mind, our eternal spirit that never dies, we are drawn to someone because we have found our perfect mirror. Deep respect and divine adoration make us stronger. Something in this person allows us to be wholly ourselves, without distortion, games, concealment or lies. It is as if someone has cleaned the mirror and we can finally see ourselves. And they experience exactly the same thing with us.

You don't search for mature love; you don't find it.

It is not something that is bought and conquered.

Mature love grows and expands between two hearts that are present and available. Something magical happens there. Two people whose hearts are free don't meet out of need. They don't come to fill an empty space. They won't replace anyone, and they don't take the place of someone who was there before.

We don't expect anything from them that we wouldn't expect from ourselves. We don't ask anything of them that we wouldn't ask of ourselves. We expect of them what we expect of ourselves.

Then we discover our greatest treasure: being in love with another person is actually being in love with ourselves in their presence.

Love comes down to one. Go to the mirror and look; that is where true love is.